#iamenough

today, as i was picking out what picture to post of jeffery and me from last night on our date, i had to laugh at myself. here i was judging a picture on what i should be sharing with the world, when really it's only a few people from college, old classmates, some new and old friends and family. they don't really care, let's be honest. but for some strange reason i did! i never hangout with these people or talk to them except for the select few that i cherish. so again, why do i care? they don't know what was going on during my day. the fun moments that i got to experience or the crappy day that i ended up having. but i had to make it a perfect picture so that everyone could see how much fun i was having with my husband. i could've posted a goofy, unedited, poorly light picture and people still would have gotten the clue. "oh how nice, jeffery took julia out on a date." and they would have kept scrolling. the end. that's all. only my super close friends or my mom would've asked me what we did, how did it go. only they would be interested to know the #BTS of my date. and that's what i care about! right?

wrong. not completely wrong. but not completely truth either. i still would've thought is that the right picture? the right caption? did they notice how good my hair looked? (i did just get a new hair cut, so that's crucial you know) what about the background? that looks like a cool spot right? ugh. so much weird things to think about over one picture that people will look at for a matter of 3 seconds. i can't be the only one that does this?! if i am, well welcome to my crazy life. but i know i am not alone. girls do this. all girls. and those that don't, are happy. are happy with them, that one moment, and the picture.

i had a great time with jeffery last night. he had been gone for 2 weeks and he just got back the day before. so i was excited to just be out with him! and we went on a triple date to get sushi downtown, so like it was an awesome date! as soon as we got in the car i was already trying to pick a picture (face palm). i was using my quality time with my husband on my PHONE!!!! another ugh. but in my head, it was ok. i wanted people to see that i was having fun with jeffery. but i was on my phone, i don't think that is very fun for him. uhm and super lame. i caught myself and decided to put the phone away. for what like 20 min. i did this realization about a dozen times i bet. checking my phone. putting it away.

this morning. what did i do? check my phone. hangout with jeff and olivia. check my phone. i think you get it. going through my phone i was looking at pictures we took last night and thinking how fun it was. welp, time to post a picture right? ugh. found the one i wanted, but of course i had to edit it. WHY?! we already looked good, it was everything a picture should be really. and a selfie to add to it. when i was editing i telling myself that i wasn't good enough to show you who i really am with my husband. who i am with my husband is my best self. and here i was trying to change my appearance. i would say it was for you, but really it was for me. sad.

it totally sucks that we are in the constant demand of knowing and seeing the "perfect" or "unperfect" lives of other people. will it change? probably not. but maybe someday when we are old and "grandma-like" and wise we will understand it. for now we are going to have slowly catch ourselves when we do this to ourselves. the world is already telling us that we need to keep changing to be who they want us to be. in my book, i say that is incredibly lame. (my book is really good)  we are enough. i am enough. you are enough.

so i am going to end this on my perfect moment with my sweet husband from last night. and say that this is enough. hashtag it, or else it's not real. (haha that's a completely different venting session.)

#iamenough

                                                      

Memorial Day 2015

it was a pretty chill day which was great! we slept in with Olivia and got ready for the day. we went over to my parents house to celebrate. my dad grilled up some burgers and hot dogs and we had ourselves a nice little BBQ. the rest of the day was spent hanging out, sharing stories, and of course lots of games!! my dad loves games, which i actually enjoy...others not so much haha. we had a corn hole tournament (it's like his new thing with us kids) and a game of Life. i think only 3 of them actually finished the game, idk what that exactly says about ourselves haha.
i am so grateful for the freedoms that we have and that i get to be able to share that with my own family. thank you to all that have served fighting for this beautiful country. jeff and i have some pretty important people that have fought for this country. and we love and miss them.
home of the free because of the brave <3.

A Surprise for my wife...

I just wanted to take this opportunity that Julia has given me to highjack her blog and tell her how much a adore and love her. She rarely gives me a minute alone when I'm not at school or at work and today she's out visiting teaching so I have a good opportunity to say a few things...

...we are coming up on our 2 year anniversary next month and I can't believe how much we have both grown and changed the last few years. Marriage will do that to you. Then a baby will do that to you again. It's a really special thing to be married and it was horrifying when we started. We both had questions and a ton of unknown but we were determined to make things work and have the best marriage in the world. Now, I'm not saying that marriage is all rainbows and butterflies but it's the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life by far because I have been able to see and feel the growth from both of us and now our little daughter Olivia. I remember times when we would stay out till 1 am talking and giggling on the couch now we are up late taking care of a baby together and learning each others strengths and "Secrets" to getting a child to sleep. We may not dance or date as often as we used to but I get to spend everyday with the love of my life and for me that's enough.

Julia I love you with all my heart. I have been growing more and more in love with you every since we were married nearly 2 years ago and that's not going to change. I think you are amazing. You make my life so much better and so much more fulfilled. I wouldn't change anything that we have done together because we did it together! You are my rock and when you have a hard day everyone else does as well even Olivia can feel it and she's only 5 months! It's crazy how true that saying, "Happy wife, Happy life" truly is. Now I know things haven't been amazing lately and we are still trying to get through the annoyingly long and abnormally lame college phase of a marriage but I know that in 2 more years we will look back at us now and just laugh because of how much fun we had doing the simple things. Please never forget the late nights with Olivia and the warm bottles that relax our sweet girl. Don't forget the hardships and the frustrations that come from marriage because someday we both will be perfect and we will not have to worry about them and we will look back and think, "I wish Jeff wouldn't hang up the towel every time he washes his hands so I could pick on him." But most of all Julia Eden I would like you to remember how much I love you and our daughter and how much you two mean to me. I'm in love with her giggle when I bite her neck or her smile when we play with her feet. I love the late night laughs with you when you try and talk to me for hours and I appreciate all the patience you have with me when I fall asleep mid-sentence. You truly are my best friend and I wouldn't trade that for any other. It's amazing how much you can learn about a person in 2 years.

I'm excited for the next 2 years and the many more after that. Lets see if we can make these next 2 years better than our first 2. I love you my dear.