Important Letter to Baby Girl

I have been postponing this post for awhile now. why? because i am lazy, i find other things to do, i feel pregnant and would rather watch a movie & Instagram or i just plain forget. my thoughts run about a 100mph but my body & mind move...excuse me wobble at the pace of snail and cease to be non existent at times. nice visual, i know. but here i am writing because a good friend of mine and family have told me to. and also i need to. i need to remember what my last few days as just, Julia is. Julia the wife, Julia the daughter, Julia the sister and friend, Julia the soon-to-be mom. any day this little girl of mine will be here and my life will once again change dramatically. and Julia, well she is pretty anxious about it!life has been crazy these last few months preparing for this little human that will be ours FOREVER! it's been filled with dr. appointments, shots, work, school, shopping, organizing, peeing in cups, baby laundry (btw is probably the most fun laundry you will ever do and smells amazing, i'm sure my thoughts will change about that very soon tho), building all sorts of baby contraptions, eating out, and passing time by watching her move around, i mean kick and push, in my growing belly. weird how the last three months felt like they would last forever, but now it's the end of October!! being pregnant is weird, it's the longest yet shortest time of your life. but i guess you could say that about anything!
so i guess i should write something of importance in this post. at least that is how i feel haha. but what? i could talk about anything, because these days everything is IMPORTANT to me. just the other day i was stressing of what to pack in her bag to bring her home. like the outfit just has to be "perfect". but it will already be perfect because she will be the one it. duh. or what blanket to wrap her up in in the cold and what color binkies i want to bring to the hospital. another thing i just HAD to find a robe to wear at the hospital, because the gown just will not do. uhh why? idk, but it was IMPORTANT! all of these things sound so silly now typing them out haha. but me, being the crazy (i shouldn't even have to put crazy in the front because pregnant people are crazy. but say that to one because then she will start crying and will legit go crazy on you! Jeff can speak from experience, i'm sure haha) pregnant woman that i am has to make sure everything is perfect. what i should do tho, is know that everything will be "perfect"...even if it isn't my way haha.
but anyways back to my important speech! i want this to be to my daughter. our daughter. who we already love soooo much & i have a feeling she loves us by the way she kicks me! those are love kicks right?? if not, i might have to eat her cute toes. who am i kidding i will eat her toes, her fingers, her chubby chubby cheeks, basically i am going to devour my child. again, nice visual Julia. Onto that "important part"...
              
         dear baby girl,
I have been counting down the days til I get to see and hold and kiss you! I don't know how many days that really is, because apparently you want to make up your mind. Which is hard for your mom, because you will learn that I love to know everything and patience is not my strong suit. You're definitely teaching me that right now. So thank you baby girl! Being your mom is going to be the best blessing you will ever give me. Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mother. Do I think i will be number one right away? NO! You would be one lucky girl if your mama had it all together. I do know I will be the perfect mother for you and you will be perfect baby for me. We are in this together. Baby girl, you ARE my everything, I think about you when I wake up, one reason is because you kicked me and made me run to the bathroom to go pee...for the 4th time tonight. I think about you throughout the day hoping your doing ok, and enjoying the cheeseburger I just ate because I sure I did! I think about you right before I go to bed as I am getting ready by taking my nightly shower. Seeing you stretch and move is such a beautiful thing to me. It's my favorite thing. I even dream about you. All night! Everything I do now, you're right there with me, it's amazing. I know you're my daughter but you're also my best friend, my soul. You are part of me. Hopefully that's a good thing haha. I'm glad you're also part your daddy. He is an amazing man. You, like him, can calm me down so much. You're going to love your father baby girl. We are sooooo in love with you! I can't wait for the day that you enter this world from our Father in Heavens' arms into ours. He has put a lot of trust into us to raise His own. I hope we do Him and you proud. Is this going to be easy?? Nope. Is it going to be worth it? Yup, EVERY SINGLE SECOND AND MOMENT! Baby girl, if there is one thing I want you to know it is WE are here for you and LOVE you more than you could ever imagine! We are family, a small one. But an eternal family and will be together forever. Olivia, my beautiful amazing daughter of mine I love you! And thank you for letting ME be your mommy. Xoxoxo
Now get your booty down here so I can squeeze you and kiss that big baby bum of yours. Yes you're going to be big, you can blame that on me and you're big feet. Sorry! Oh and your clothes are to die for! Another reason why you need to come now! We get to play dress up, you'll love it ;).
Love,
Your NEW mommy <3

jeff and I found out we were pregnant on March 1, 2014. i remember the weeks leading up to me peeing on the magic stick i felt...different. hoping that i was, but also nervous if we were. it was such a new experience that the both of us had never EVER done. and yet here i was, about to pee on a stick. i had gotten a couple of tests from a bridal shower that i had when Rachel gave me one back in provo. my friend erin, who was the first of us to be pregnant and a mommy, gave me the tests. thanks girl ;). so i used those first and nothing really happened. i guess pregnancy tests have an expiration date, WHO KNEW?! so this was back at the end of February and i was all high in stress with a brand new big girl job, little to no family and friends and jeff was always gone with school and work. i knew something was up but i wasn't getting an answer! i remember night after night i would just cry to him saying that i didn't know what it was and that i just had to be pregnant. at least that's what i wanted, it's what we were both wanting! back in October i went off the pill, because it really was making me crazy and just physically sick. we knew what was to come, and we were excited. but no luck. until finally jeff was like ok, let's just go buy another one! he came home from work and we headed down to the store. we were both nervous and somewhat embarrassed starring at this wall of feminine products. we finally picked one and headed home. i went upstairs and ya know did my thang, and it wasn't even a second that i had to wait. but there it was. the BRIGHT blue cross. i don't even remember what i felt, but just like a woah. i went downstairs and jeff was like sooo... i couldn't really say yes so i was like just go check! he came down with the biggest smile and we hugged and kissed and were so happy!!! we couldn't believe it, we were having a baby! we called our family and told them and they couldn't have been more excited. and so began our new journey together of parenthood!

i had scheduled an apt with my dr back in like January for just a check up and at the time i was still feeling, not myself and wanted to get that taken care of. the office wasn't able to get me in until march. which i was guess was good thing, but at the time i was annoyed. weird how things just play out like that. so going into the apt i was nervous because a) uhm my business is mine and ya and b) we were going to find out for SURE if we were pregnant. for some reason i was all paranoid, like for the longest time that it was just a lie, that i wasn't. the dr did her thing and before i could even ask the wheeled in the ultrasound machine. i told my nurse that was late and that i tested positive so i guess she took the liberty to tell doc haha. i was actually thankful that i didn't have to. she hooked everything up and there she was...searching for a blob! and then the blob started beating. we saw her hear beat for the first time that day. i was still in a state of shock, but so excited! at this point we were 6 weeks and 3 days!! we had long way to go. after the apt we met up with my parents who were visiting and showed them this pic. they seriously have been so excited, especially my dad! he's baby crazy hahaha. jeff then had to go to work and my parents hung out and of course had to go get baby clothes.

the next apt we went to we could definitely see there was baby! and she was growing! she had arms and legs with little toes. that blob was now very much a baby. our baby. here we were just a little over 13 weeks and ready to tell our friends! and let the gender battle bets begin!!

 this was me about 20 weeks! i felt to huge here....little did i know how big i would actually end up getting. i didn't take many "belly pictures" & now i feel kinda bad about it. but when you look and feel the way that i did, a picture is the last thing you want! also at this time jeff and i just moved back to Boise, thank goodness! we had a loooonnngggg road ahead of us!

September 4, 2014 my mom & sister threw me an amazing baby shower! i had so many wonderful friends and family come and support me!

 the home stretch!!! 40 weeks!! towards the end of my pregnancy i started to measure well over the average at my appts. i was HUGE. like this picture is defiantly one of those "posed" ones. for me the end didn't come soon enough, i'm sure my face in person showed that. but this day was the day after my due date and last day of work. i was determined to get myself into actual labor. so jeff and i went for a car ride, to a home expo, dinner, and more walking. i was surprised at how good i felt! i can't believe i was kinda upset at how good i was feeling, but that was only because i knew labor wasn't being started!

 

and this was the last time it was just me & jeff as family!!